Drive By (Turkey) Shooting

Yea, you read it right.

Now are you wondering what I meant by that? Well this is a story about a drive by shooting involving a turkey.

I swear I couldn't make this stuff up.

Now you have to remember I am from the south and I'm very proud of that fact. I know people will ask me where I am from when I tell this story. I am not a redneck, well not much. I don't chew tobacco, I don't hunt and I don't curse. Okay I try not to curse alot.

This is about someone that I use to work for. When he came to work and told everybody this story, he was so proud. All I could think of was, lord help us all.

Now I want you to picture this in your mind. I sure wish I had video of this. Can you say winner of America's Funniest Video.

Anyway, he was coming to work one day and spotted a big ole turkey on the side of the road. Now if you know anything about turkeys, you know that turkeys don't wait around for you to shoot them. I'm sure the second he started to slow down his truck, that turkey started running.

So I'm thinking the only way for him to shoot this turkey, is he had must have shot it out of the window of his truck. So that tells me he had to drive thru the woods to shoot at this turkey.

Sure enough, that is exactly what he done. He said that when he seen it, that he started driving down the side of the road. And when he got close enough to it, he starts blasting away at it.

So finally he says that he shoots the turkey. Well he stops his truck and gets out to get it. He throws it in the floor board of his truck.

As he is driving, he is talking on his cell phone. I'm sure he's telling one of his hunting buddies how he tracked it in the woods and shot it. I'm pretty positive that he left out the part of tracking it with his truck.

So anyway, he is not paying attention that this turkey is not quite dead yet. So it starts thrashing around in his truck. Well he almost takes out a tree with his truck before he can get it stopped.

When he finally stops, he has to catch that turkey. He has to do finish it off the old fashion
way, he wrings its neck like a chicken.

Now he truck is full of turkey feathers and blood from where he shot it in the wing. After emptying his shotgun on this turkey, he only clips his wing. Maybe he needed his glasses to see it.

Of course it's kind of hard to shoot straight and drive at the same time.

When he finally makes it to work. He drags that dead turkey into show everybody. Me and Cathy, the other girl in the office was not quite as impressed as the guys. I guess you had to be a hunter.

Every time someone came into the office that day, he would show them the turkey and tell his story. By the end of the day, the story he told didn't sound anything like the actual story.

You know, kind of like the story about the fish that got away.

He had that big ole turkey stuffed. He has it hanging in his office. Every time I would go in his office and see it, I would remember the original version of the drive by turkey shooting.

So the next time someone tells you about their big hunting adventure they had. Just remember the drive by turkey shooting and how it actually happened.