Stop That Yelling

I really love my granddaughter Hannah more than anything in the world. But I swear sometimes when she is in one of her yelling fits. I just want to pinch her head off.

It's just a southern expression, we really don't do that. But that doesn't mean that we don't want to sometimes.

For a child who is only 4 years old, she has the most piercing voice of any child I know. Sometimes when she doesn't get her way, she starts to scream and jump up and down in the middle of the room.

I can just imagine what my neighbors are thinking. I bet if they had spent any time with her, they would want to pinch her head off to.

Now this doesn't mean that she acts like that all the time, it only means that those times are the ones that come to mind first.

She is a very lovable child. She always tells me that she is so glad that I'm here with her. But when she comes into a room and starts to say she is sorry. I'm wondering what in the world has she gotten into now.

She told me tonight that she had to much toilet paper in the potty. I don't know what she was trying to cover up and I didn't want to know. I was just glad that she came and told me before she flushed the toilet.

Luckily for me and her, it was just a minor situation. But when she looks at me with her big blue eyes and tells me how much she loves me. I don't care what she does, as long as that never changes.

Drive By (Turkey) Shooting

Yea, you read it right.

Now are you wondering what I meant by that? Well this is a story about a drive by shooting involving a turkey.

I swear I couldn't make this stuff up.

Now you have to remember I am from the south and I'm very proud of that fact. I know people will ask me where I am from when I tell this story. I am not a redneck, well not much. I don't chew tobacco, I don't hunt and I don't curse. Okay I try not to curse alot.

This is about someone that I use to work for. When he came to work and told everybody this story, he was so proud. All I could think of was, lord help us all.

Now I want you to picture this in your mind. I sure wish I had video of this. Can you say winner of America's Funniest Video.

Anyway, he was coming to work one day and spotted a big ole turkey on the side of the road. Now if you know anything about turkeys, you know that turkeys don't wait around for you to shoot them. I'm sure the second he started to slow down his truck, that turkey started running.

So I'm thinking the only way for him to shoot this turkey, is he had must have shot it out of the window of his truck. So that tells me he had to drive thru the woods to shoot at this turkey.

Sure enough, that is exactly what he done. He said that when he seen it, that he started driving down the side of the road. And when he got close enough to it, he starts blasting away at it.

So finally he says that he shoots the turkey. Well he stops his truck and gets out to get it. He throws it in the floor board of his truck.

As he is driving, he is talking on his cell phone. I'm sure he's telling one of his hunting buddies how he tracked it in the woods and shot it. I'm pretty positive that he left out the part of tracking it with his truck.

So anyway, he is not paying attention that this turkey is not quite dead yet. So it starts thrashing around in his truck. Well he almost takes out a tree with his truck before he can get it stopped.

When he finally stops, he has to catch that turkey. He has to do finish it off the old fashion
way, he wrings its neck like a chicken.

Now he truck is full of turkey feathers and blood from where he shot it in the wing. After emptying his shotgun on this turkey, he only clips his wing. Maybe he needed his glasses to see it.

Of course it's kind of hard to shoot straight and drive at the same time.

When he finally makes it to work. He drags that dead turkey into show everybody. Me and Cathy, the other girl in the office was not quite as impressed as the guys. I guess you had to be a hunter.

Every time someone came into the office that day, he would show them the turkey and tell his story. By the end of the day, the story he told didn't sound anything like the actual story.

You know, kind of like the story about the fish that got away.

He had that big ole turkey stuffed. He has it hanging in his office. Every time I would go in his office and see it, I would remember the original version of the drive by turkey shooting.

So the next time someone tells you about their big hunting adventure they had. Just remember the drive by turkey shooting and how it actually happened.

Simple Easy Cooking

Well I did it. I finally started my cooking web site. It's all about simple and easy recipes.
Of course it probably would help if I knew how to cook.

Okay, I do know how to cook. Of course I'm not saying it's eatable. Just kidding. If I do say so myself, I can actually cook really good when I want to. Which is not very often.

I really do like to cook, but I sure hate to clean up after. Usually I'm so full after eating, I couldn't clean up the kitchen if I had to.

Now when I'm working in Florida, I don't get to cook very much. But when I go home to Alabama on the weekends, I always cook something for my husband.

Back to my web site. I'm so excited about finally getting it started. I just wanted a site that not only I put on my favorite recipes, but other people could send me their favorites.

I want to post recipes that are so easy that a 10 year old could make it. I guess that I might need to post a disclaimer that I'm not responsible if some 10 year old decides to cook one of my recipes and burns the house down.

I sure don't want them coming after me. Of course I don't have anything. I would gladly share my bills with them. I have more than enough to go around.

I'm going to try and have some healthy recipes. But I mostly will have recipes that have nothing to do with healthy. Yea, I know. I should try to be more healthy. But where is the fun in that.

Now I'm not going to guarantee that they will taste good. I mean, I can't be there to make sure that you don't accidentally put in salt instead of sugar. Or even if you remember to put in the sugar.

Or instead of putting in self-rising flour, your put in plain flour. Take it from me, you will be able to tell the difference when it comes out of the oven. Self-rising looks like a cake. Plain looks like a pancake. And pancakes don't frost very well, unless you have alot to pile on.

So here's the link to my new cooking web site. Please take a look and tell me what you think. Or if you have a favorite recipe, let me know.

Here it is http://www.simpleeasycooking.com/

If you see any news stories about some kid burning down the house cooking. Warn me please.