My Blind Grandpa Driving the Car

Yes when my grandpa was alive, he still drove his car even though he technically was blind. Okay, maybe not completely blind, he saw shapes. He just didn't know what they were.

We lived way out in the country. And everybody drove on the small country roads, regardless of age or sight. Heck me and my brothers use to drive to the store and I was only 12 years old and I was the oldest.

But before we were big enough to touch the gas pedal and see over the steering wheel, we would ride with grandpa to the store. Now we didn't go everyday, just about once every couple of weeks.

If we were outside playing and seen him head to his car, we ask to go along. Both our parents worked and grandma was usually in the garden. Of course grandpa thought he was just as good a babysitter as anybody. At least we never got hurt when we were with him.

I think back with horror of how dangerous that would be in this day and time. I guess in grandpa eyes, he saw good enough to drive. We were young and didn't care. All we thought about was going to the store and getting a RC cola and a moonpie. I myself liked getting a coke and pouring in it a pack of peanuts. Try it sometime, you might like it.

Now grandpa usually made it out of the driveway on to the road most of the time. Sometimes he turned to soon and drove in the small ditch on each side to the driveway. When he got out onto the road, he would run his car off the road. And then he would turn his steering wheel to the left until he felt his right front tire hit on the side of the pavement.

This was how he knew he was on his side of the road. Thank God everybody knew his car, when they seen him coming. They just pulled over and stopped until he passed.

Next to the store was a small church, and they used the same parking lot. As I said before, he could see shape but couldn't tell what they were. He would count the large shapes on the right side of the road. And he knew how many buildings there were on the way to the store. When he counted to the building he knew was the church, he would turn in the parking lot of the church.

Everybody knew he did this and he knew when anybody might be there for church. So nobody ever parked their cars there in case he came to the store that day. He would always park his car so that all he had to do was keep turning his steering wheel to the left to get back on to the road.

When he drove back home, he did the same thing going back counting buildings. And of course he didn't always make the turn back into the driveway. So he would either turn to soon and drive through the small ditch, or not to soon enough and take out the mailbox. He ran it over so many times, that daddy just propped it back up.

Of course grandpa drove so slow, when he occasionally missed a turn. It didn't really damage anything except the mailbox. And the kids in the country like to put firecrackers in the mailboxes, so he couldn't hurt it any worst than they did. We probably could have ran to the store faster than he drove it. We didn't care, we just wanted to go to the store.

Eventually he had to stop driving after he kind of parked a little to close to the house. He didn't actually hit the house, he just kind of let the car roll into it. But by this time we could drive ourselves. Back then if a kid could press the gas and see over the steering wheel, then they could drive.

Grandpa has been gone for many years now, but I will never forget the trips to the store. We never knew what would happen. Anytime I see a mailbox with a few dents in it, I think of my grandpa.

What are we going to do today?

Have you ever woken up on your day off and wonder, what am I going to do today?

I couldn't even begin to remember what that feels like. There is always something that needs to be done on days off. Like the ever growing pile of laundry, the grocery list that just keeps getting longer on the refrigerator door.

Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was which tennis shoes to wear that day. Or which one of your friends house to meet at.

Don't you remember the sound of the bell ringing at the end of the last day of school. You couldn't wait to get home and get out of your school clothes. And what about when you hated to get up early to catch the bus. But when you was off for the summer, you woke up early just to play.

In my day we didn't have nintendo or wii. We made our own fun. I remember when I was growing up in central Florida before my parents moved us to north Alabama. We did all kinds of things that had nothing to do with electronic games.

My parents took me and my two brothers camping on Crystal River and took us to the beach at Sarasota and Daytona Beach. We always seem to be going somewhere on the weekends.

I remember my dad trying to teach me and my brothers how to eat raw oysters. My brothers David and Wayne loved them. I just couldn't make myself eat them. My dad would put them on a cracker and put hot sauce on it for me. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn't eat them.

My favorite thing was putting out traps to catch crabs. Now that was my favorite seafood to eat. Still is. One time my mom was boiling us some crabs that we had caught, but she put to much crab boil in the pot. The crab were so spicy that you couldn't even lick your fingers without feeling like your lips would burn off.

I'll never forget the time mom was picking up a crab, I don't know how she done it. But that crab latched onto her thumb. The only way to get that crab to release it's pincher, was to pry it off with a pair of pliers.

Then we moved to north Alabama and spent our summers camping out on Smith Lake. We never ran out of things to do. And the best thing was it didn't cost a week's pay to do it.

I miss those days of spending time with my family. It seems there is never enough hours in the day. Hope we all learn to slow down and smell the roses, before it's to late.

Weather of the Day

We have a saying in Florida, if you don't like the weather wait 15 minutes and it will change.
I never know what to wear to work. I put on 4 layers of shirts and long johns, aka insulated underwear. But by the time lunch time comes around, you start peeling off clothes.

Or the morning starts off raining and cloudy and by the afternoon is beautiful and sunny. But I wouldn't change the weather for nothing. At least it keeps it interesting.

I really love the summer time. Going to the beach, parasailing, riding waverunners and fishing. The best thing about working on the gulf coast, is in the summer there is always something to do.

Of course along with it comes the horrific traffic from the tourists. I know I would be a gazillionaire if I got a nickel from every tourist that ask directions to somewhere.

The one thing I don't love about Florida weather is the humidity. Women everywhere will tell you what humidity will do to your hair. You have beautiful hair until you walk out the front door. All of sudden you look like you stuck your finger in a light socket.

Everyone seems to think that they should try to get their suntan on the first day. Of course anyone who has ever been to Florida in the summer, knows that's a major mistake. You always know a tourist when you see one. They have the look of a lobster off a grill that they forgot to turn over. And then they are miserable for the rest of their vacation.



Of course we have weather that I could definitely live without. Hurricanes and tornados. At least with hurricanes you have advanced warning. Not so much with tornados. Neither is a good thing. But I guess that is a small price to pay to live at the beach.

Valentines Day (bah humbug) Oops Wrong Holiday

What is it with Valentines Day anyway? What is it about this holiday that make people spend almost as much money as they do on Christmas.

Yea, I know. This is when you are suppose to show the one you love how much they mean to you. But isn't that something you should do everyday? Think about it for a second. You pay an ungodly price for flowers, if you are lucky might last a week. You buy jewelry, hopefully not bought from a discount store. And if you did, after about a week of wear. Turns your loved ones skin green. Or if bought from a jewelry store, after a while put in a jewelry box with last years Valentine gift. And don't even get me started on the candy. Oh yea, we women love the chocolates. Of course we eat the whole box saying, I'll get back on my diet tomorrow. There are some of us, still waiting for that tomorrow.

Of course I'm almost forgetting the best gift of all. The bottle of perfume. There are two kinds of perfume. First there is the kind sold by the ounce and then there is the bargain perfume. You know the kind that your husband buys for you down at the flea market from some guy named Earl who is selling tools and real french perfume on the same table. You try to wear it because he bought for you but everytime you put it on, it burns a little and smell like kerosene. So you tell him that the kids broke the bottle playing in the bathroom and hope he never buys you kerosene scented perfume ever again.

But as I said, shouldn't you show them everyday. I not talking about spending money. Most of the things you could do are free and unscented. Just a little thought and time to do it.

You could tell your wife you will take the kids to school. But then later that night when your wife asks you if the kids had homework. You look at her with a blank look. She suddenly realize with horror that you didn't pick them up from school. Of course your response would be, I said I would take them to school. I didn't say anything about picking them up.

Maybe do something for her that doesn't involve your being responsible for someone smaller and younger than you. Aka the kids. Maybe clean up the kitchen and load the dishwasher for her after dinner. But make sure that if you run out of dishwashing detergent, that you don't go into the laundry room and get the clothes detergent. For some reason beyond me, clothes detergent and dishwashers don't work well together. I myself don't know why not. Washing detergent should be for what ever is dirty. Whether it be clothes, dishes, the dog. Dirty is dirty.

Or better yet, maybe bring home dinner. Tell her you are going to get some chicken. Of course don't come home 4 hours late with beer on your breath and a Hooter's bag of cold chicken wings. She might not buy your story that you had to wait a really long time for your order.

I myself have been married for 29 years this past January. I got my Valentines day gift early. My husband washed and waxed my car. That may not sound like much. But when you live in the south and have to drive on clay roads occasionally, it's like getting a diamond ring. Or at least to me. That car wash was worth more to me than any flowers, jewelry, or candy. Ok, maybe not the chocolate. But you know what I mean.

Everyday when I wake up and before I go to bed, I always tell my husband I love him. And I never hang up the phone without saying, I love you. If I never got to be with my husband and family ever again. I know in my heart that they know I loved them.

So you don't have to spend money to show how much you care. Of course I'm just speaking about me. But Honey if you want to get me that diamond ring, I promise I will take it.

Rubberneckin'

What is it with people rubberneckin' at an accident that they see? Sorry, I forget sometimes not everyone even knows what that means. Definitely not the Elvis song. But you know the remix to that song is really cool to listen to in your car when you are sitting in traffic.

Oh yea, back to people rubberneckin'. Southern definition of this word is some idiot passing by a car accident, breaking his or her neck to see what happened. And when they rubberneck, they create a change reaction of slowing traffic down to a complete stop 5 miles from the accident.

What exactly is it that they expect to see? A head with no body, maybe an arm or leg. I don't know about you, but I absolutely refuse to look. Just in case there is a head with no body or any other limbs that I don't care to see.

I don't want to have a dream that I'm waking up like that guy in the movie Godfather. But instead of a horse head, it's the head from some accident I rubbernecked at.

Of course, one day I didn't have alot of choice in the matter. It's kind of hard not to look, when you are meeting another car. And they just decide to drive off the road. The only problem with that, was the side of the road dropped off about 10 feet down. So when the car left the road, it got airborne. Never have seen a car fly before. Definitely a first.

And being that I am a true southern woman, I stopped to make sure the driver was okay. Of course the guy driving was not hurt. Just a little upset about that his car's landing gears didn't hold up to well. You know, his tires. I ask him why he picked that day to practice for his pilots license. He said he had dropped his cigarette in the seat. I don't know about you, but if that had of been me. I think I would have rather had a small hole in my car seat, instead of having to buy 4 new tires for the car. I sure hope that my husband makes that choice if he ever has to.

My Southern World

Hello , Welcome to my southern world. As my title states, I am a southern and also a woman.

I started this blog to talk about things that happen in my day to day life as a person living in the deep south. Also about stories from my growing up in the south.

This is my very first blog, ever. And I don't have a clue of what I'm doing. Or even if anything that I might have to talk about is worth people wanting to read. Any comments or help from everyone, will be welcomed. As we say in the south, I have always depended on the kindness of others. Or did I hear that in some movie. Yea, I know I did. But it sounds like something we would say in the south, right?

Sometimes when I watch the news of what is happening in other parts of the world, I feel like I'm living on another planet. I have traveled to other parts of the United States and Canada.

And as soon as I open my mouth to speak, my accent immediately gives me away. The first thing someone usually says to me, are you from the south?

I'm always being told that I have the cutest accent. I'm sure I lose a few IQ points as soon as someone hears me talk. Of course sometimes it really works to my advantage. You know, when you're trying to get out of a speeding ticket. That's when the use of darling or sweetheart really comes in handy.

Of course I'm sure there are some women somewhere who cringe when they hear me say that.
But I'm sure I wouldn't be the first person to use their personality to get out of a ticket. It has worked for me so far.

My day to day life involves working for the government. Of course my job doesn't involve working in an office. I get to ride around in a work truck. I see all kinds of wildlife. Deer, turkeys, bears, and every other kind of wildlife we have in the south. That includes snakes, Big and small.

Of course I work with mostly men. There is only one other female besides myself who works out in the field. These guys are a true picture of a southern male. Bunch of great guys, but without a doubt southern rednecks. You know the type, loves to hunt, curses every other word, drives a pickup with a gun rack.

I was involved one day in an accident going to one of my facilities that I was responsible for. I have just turned onto the road leading to the building, when a deer came running out of the woods and hit my truck. Of course the first question asked was not was I ok, but did it kill the deer? Boy, I knew right then what was important to a southern man.