Southern Yard Sales

We really love yard sales in the south. When the weather starts getting warm. Everyone drags out their junk to sell in a yard sale.

Or if you have a garage, a garage sale. And we love flea markets.

I can understand why you would say a yard sale or a garage sale. If you have your sale in your garage, it's a garage sale. Or if you have your sale in the yard, well you get the picture.

But where in the world did the name flea market come from. I love going to them, but I do not remember anybody selling fleas. There is always someone there selling their puppies.

Never have seen anyone selling fleas. Back to us selling our junk.

My mom says that her little truck won't let her pass a yard sale. She says that as soon as she starts going by one without stopping, her truck starts trying to turn into it. She figures, why fight it.

Now you probably think you have some things in your house that nobody would even want to look at much less buy. But I promise you there is someone somewhere in the south who would love to put it on their mantle or hang it on the wall.

Every year in August, we have what has been called the worlds longest yard sale. It starts in a little town on the outskirts of Gadsden, Alabama and it goes all the way up to Ohio.

I not pulling your leg. To me this is the greatest thing next to barbecue ribs. It starts on Thursday and ends on Sunday.

And believe me when I say this is an event to see. There are literally thousands of people who come to sell their junk and people like me who come to buy it.

If you have ever been looking for something that would normally be hard to find. Look here. Now you might have to search through alot of junk. But it's there.

If you are wondering how it could be called the worlds longest yard sale, let me explain.

Well it starts in Alabama and winds its way up thru Tennessee and eventually into Ohio.

There is probably no more than a half a mile in between yard sales. When you go through towns there will practically be one at every house on the yard sale route.

You could be going along and all of a sudden come to an open field and there are hundreds of people with sites set up with their junk or antiques. What ever you want to call them.

So if you are looking to do something different this summer, come check our yard sale. Now it is family friendly, but anyone with little children know that after an hour in the sun, they get really grouchy. Just remember that if you want to bring the babies.

But if you do come, make sure to wear something cool, wear lots of sunscreen and a hat is always a good thing. Lots of dollar bills, maybe even pack some snacks. And if you are going to try and see the whole thing from start to finish, better make your hotel reservations early. Believe or not they fill up fast. And even if you don't bring anything to eat or drink. Don't worry there is always someone cooking something and they usually have a big cooler filled with water and drinks.

Last year I made it to Tennessee, but I had a family emergency and had to leave. But this year I'm definitely going to try to see it all. Oh I just remembered, I have got to call my friend Charlotte and make sure she is going with me. She is a yard sale junkie, and in the south that is a good thing.

How To Get Ready For Summer

How do you get ready for summer? Is there a manual somewhere or a video to watch?

What do you do to get ready for summer? Do you go on some crash diet, in hopes of getting into the new swimsuit that you bought on sale. Telling yourself that you are getting into shape to be able to wear that size 6 swimsuit when you really wear a size 10.

Or do you start going to the tanning salon to get a head start on your supposedly natural tan.

I start out with good intentions. I'm sure you are like me and you have a work out program that you are going to start. But you never seem to have the time to do.

But you do eventually go to the gym and work out like a crazy person. Of course then the next day or so, you are so sore that you can't move. Much less work out again.

Then you either go to the tanning salon, or if you are like me, cheap. You sunbath in the backyard, where hopefully no one sees you.

And then you get in that warm sun and fall asleep. Of course you know what happens next, instead of a golden tan, you look like a lobster. You know, RED

Well whatever you do to prepare for summer, just remember to always, always wear sunscreen. Drink plenty of liquids when you are out in the sun either playing or working.

But whatever you do to prepare for summer, just have lots of fun.

I Love Movies

Do you have a favorite movie? If someone ask me that, I don't think I could pick just one. There are literally thousands that you could pick from. I know that I personally have a collection of over a hundred movies myself.

I don't have a preference of what kind of movies that I like. I just love them all. But I do have some that I like to watch more than once.

There are some movies that have won all kinds of awards, that I haven't seen. I have never seen Titantic. Honest. We all know how it ends. And in case you haven't seen it, the boat sinks. Among other things.

When we first moved to Florida, we couldn't afford cable. So we had a few movies that we watched alot. I mean alot. We had George Straits movie, Pure Country. We watched that movie so much, that we could turn the volume down and play the parts.

Even though we watched that movie to many times to count, I still love it.

What do you like? Do you like thrillers? I use to love them, but then I became an adult. What is it when you are a teenager about watching horror movies?

Did you like all the blood and gore? Or did you like watching the movie and screaming at the girl not to go into the room, because someone was standing behind the door with some big knife.

My mom always ask me why I screamed at the tv. She said that they couldn't hear me, I just told her I couldn't help myself.

Hey got to go, just seen previews for one of my favorite movies coming on. I bet you can't guess what it is. Here's a clue, I don't need the volume to watch it.

Stop That Yelling

I really love my granddaughter Hannah more than anything in the world. But I swear sometimes when she is in one of her yelling fits. I just want to pinch her head off.

It's just a southern expression, we really don't do that. But that doesn't mean that we don't want to sometimes.

For a child who is only 4 years old, she has the most piercing voice of any child I know. Sometimes when she doesn't get her way, she starts to scream and jump up and down in the middle of the room.

I can just imagine what my neighbors are thinking. I bet if they had spent any time with her, they would want to pinch her head off to.

Now this doesn't mean that she acts like that all the time, it only means that those times are the ones that come to mind first.

She is a very lovable child. She always tells me that she is so glad that I'm here with her. But when she comes into a room and starts to say she is sorry. I'm wondering what in the world has she gotten into now.

She told me tonight that she had to much toilet paper in the potty. I don't know what she was trying to cover up and I didn't want to know. I was just glad that she came and told me before she flushed the toilet.

Luckily for me and her, it was just a minor situation. But when she looks at me with her big blue eyes and tells me how much she loves me. I don't care what she does, as long as that never changes.

Drive By (Turkey) Shooting

Yea, you read it right.

Now are you wondering what I meant by that? Well this is a story about a drive by shooting involving a turkey.

I swear I couldn't make this stuff up.

Now you have to remember I am from the south and I'm very proud of that fact. I know people will ask me where I am from when I tell this story. I am not a redneck, well not much. I don't chew tobacco, I don't hunt and I don't curse. Okay I try not to curse alot.

This is about someone that I use to work for. When he came to work and told everybody this story, he was so proud. All I could think of was, lord help us all.

Now I want you to picture this in your mind. I sure wish I had video of this. Can you say winner of America's Funniest Video.

Anyway, he was coming to work one day and spotted a big ole turkey on the side of the road. Now if you know anything about turkeys, you know that turkeys don't wait around for you to shoot them. I'm sure the second he started to slow down his truck, that turkey started running.

So I'm thinking the only way for him to shoot this turkey, is he had must have shot it out of the window of his truck. So that tells me he had to drive thru the woods to shoot at this turkey.

Sure enough, that is exactly what he done. He said that when he seen it, that he started driving down the side of the road. And when he got close enough to it, he starts blasting away at it.

So finally he says that he shoots the turkey. Well he stops his truck and gets out to get it. He throws it in the floor board of his truck.

As he is driving, he is talking on his cell phone. I'm sure he's telling one of his hunting buddies how he tracked it in the woods and shot it. I'm pretty positive that he left out the part of tracking it with his truck.

So anyway, he is not paying attention that this turkey is not quite dead yet. So it starts thrashing around in his truck. Well he almost takes out a tree with his truck before he can get it stopped.

When he finally stops, he has to catch that turkey. He has to do finish it off the old fashion
way, he wrings its neck like a chicken.

Now he truck is full of turkey feathers and blood from where he shot it in the wing. After emptying his shotgun on this turkey, he only clips his wing. Maybe he needed his glasses to see it.

Of course it's kind of hard to shoot straight and drive at the same time.

When he finally makes it to work. He drags that dead turkey into show everybody. Me and Cathy, the other girl in the office was not quite as impressed as the guys. I guess you had to be a hunter.

Every time someone came into the office that day, he would show them the turkey and tell his story. By the end of the day, the story he told didn't sound anything like the actual story.

You know, kind of like the story about the fish that got away.

He had that big ole turkey stuffed. He has it hanging in his office. Every time I would go in his office and see it, I would remember the original version of the drive by turkey shooting.

So the next time someone tells you about their big hunting adventure they had. Just remember the drive by turkey shooting and how it actually happened.

Simple Easy Cooking

Well I did it. I finally started my cooking web site. It's all about simple and easy recipes.
Of course it probably would help if I knew how to cook.

Okay, I do know how to cook. Of course I'm not saying it's eatable. Just kidding. If I do say so myself, I can actually cook really good when I want to. Which is not very often.

I really do like to cook, but I sure hate to clean up after. Usually I'm so full after eating, I couldn't clean up the kitchen if I had to.

Now when I'm working in Florida, I don't get to cook very much. But when I go home to Alabama on the weekends, I always cook something for my husband.

Back to my web site. I'm so excited about finally getting it started. I just wanted a site that not only I put on my favorite recipes, but other people could send me their favorites.

I want to post recipes that are so easy that a 10 year old could make it. I guess that I might need to post a disclaimer that I'm not responsible if some 10 year old decides to cook one of my recipes and burns the house down.

I sure don't want them coming after me. Of course I don't have anything. I would gladly share my bills with them. I have more than enough to go around.

I'm going to try and have some healthy recipes. But I mostly will have recipes that have nothing to do with healthy. Yea, I know. I should try to be more healthy. But where is the fun in that.

Now I'm not going to guarantee that they will taste good. I mean, I can't be there to make sure that you don't accidentally put in salt instead of sugar. Or even if you remember to put in the sugar.

Or instead of putting in self-rising flour, your put in plain flour. Take it from me, you will be able to tell the difference when it comes out of the oven. Self-rising looks like a cake. Plain looks like a pancake. And pancakes don't frost very well, unless you have alot to pile on.

So here's the link to my new cooking web site. Please take a look and tell me what you think. Or if you have a favorite recipe, let me know.

Here it is http://www.simpleeasycooking.com/

If you see any news stories about some kid burning down the house cooking. Warn me please.

My Head Is Full Of Cotton

I swear my head feels like someone filled it full of cotton balls. I love the spring time. But as I have gotten older, I started having allergies. So this whole week I have been so sick, that I would have to die to feel better.

Normally I am a very upbeat person. By the time I get to work, I have had a cup of coffee. So I'm usually pretty hyped up. You know on caffeine. But this week even the coffee doesn't help me feel better.

Of course everyone has to ask me if I'm sick. And I say maybe I have a sinus infection or a head cold. But what I really want to say is I may have some kind of infectious disease. And I'm very contagious.

Someone ask me this morning if I felt as bad as I looked. What kind of stupid thing is that for someone to say to somebody. It was so stupid, I didn't even respond to the question. I really wanted to say was, I will get well, what was their excuse for their looks.

I should have asked them if they needed help to get their foot out of their mouth. I know that sometimes I kind of let my mouth get ahead of my brain. I mean I'm famous for it.

But I always care about other peoples feelings. And I never would intentionally hurt someones feelings. Sometimes I think that I worry to much about other people. But don't you think that we have to take care of the people around us. It only takes a few seconds to show someone a little bit of kindness.

You maybe in a hurry, but it only takes a few extra seconds to wait and hold the door for some elderly person. Or ask someone how their day is.

The other day, I had stopped at the store to get something to drink. As I was going into the store, I noticed an elderly lady attempting to put gas into her car. I walked out to her and ask her if I could help her. She said thank you and that she wasn't strong enough to get the gas cap open. I opened the gas cap and told her that I would fill her car up for her. I had to even help her with swiping her credit card. We stood there and chatted while I filled up her car. She said that she hardly went anywhere and she only filled her car about once a month.

Even though I was in a hurry, it only took a few minutes to help this lady. And the way I look at it is, she was someones grandma.

What was I talking about, oh yea. Being sick and people asking me insensitive questions. Like I said I try to think of other peoples feelings. So the next time that you have something to say or do for someone. Think before you speak and think how it affects their feelings.

Not Another Reality Show

How many reality shows can we possibly watch? What I really mean is, what else can they make another reality show about. The only reason anyone would want to be on these shows are money and fifteen minutes of fame.

I mean why else would you go on a show and tell the truth when someone ask you a question. And then the husband or wife is all upset over the confessions of their spouses. You people can not be that stupid. What the heck did you think would happen? And what is even worse is that people watch these shows.

What is so fearful about eating worms or some other crap that they make the contestants eat. I mean my only fear would be throwing chunks on national televison. Wouldn't you hate to be known for throwing up all over everything on a show you were only on once?

And what about being left on some island and then have to compete against other idiots for a million dollar prize. The last commercial I saw on a show, one of the contestants had some kind of infection or something. Something life threatening. Is your health only worth a few hundred thousand dollars? And what's even worse you could get to the end and lose.

Or what about the shows about singing and dancing? There are some people who have no business singing, much less auditioning to sing on a national show. Don't you have a momma who loves you and should tell you that you can't sing? You do know that you sing on the shows, so why do you go on there with some kind of stupid costume? And try to act stupid enough to get on the show.

Or the tv stars that you haven't seen in awhile on anything, show up on a dancing show. Talk about wanting 15 minutes of fame. And what's even worse is their dancing is almost as bad as their acting.

Oh I almost forgot about the dating shows. It's a sad sad world, when people go on tv to find their true love. Are you kidding me. Why would you go on some show and make a complete fool of yourselve to maybe be chosen by some guy or geek. Don't you have any pride at all. Look around you. Your greatest love maybe someone you work with or someone you see everyday at the store when you are getting coffee. Not some bozo off some tv show.

I was hoping that reality shows were a passing fad. But there seems to be an unlimited amount of people who are more than eager to show their stupidity. It seems you don't need any talent to be a star. Hey, here's a name for a new reality show. Talent or No Talent.

I sure hope I don't get into trouble for saying that. Sounds to close to another tv show where people really get to act stupid.

What Was I Thinking?

Have you ever tried on and bought clothes, got them home and thought what was I thinking.

I personally think they have magic mirrors in the dressing room. The clothes look really good when you try them on. But what the heck happens after you pay for them and take them home.

At least that's what I think happens. Because I see people with clothes on that I wouldn't walk out of my house wearing. I wonder if you could order those magic mirrors off QVC or Home Shopping Network? I love to buy clothes, just look at my closet. I have some in my closet with the tags still on them that I won't wear because of the hideous look. I would donate them, but I'm so embarrassed that someone would know that I bought such ugly clothes.

But you know what they say one man's trash is another man's treasure. If these clothes are considered someones treasure, they don't have very high standards. Okay maybe they are not that bad. But I swear when I wear some of these clothes, I can hear people snickering after I walk by.

I'm sure there is really not any magic mirrors, but at least we have something to blame for our bad judgement of clothes. Now there is some people who no matter what mirrors they are using should know better than to buy those clothes. You know who you are. You're the person who bought the shirt that is so tight that your back fat rolls show. Hey I have them to, so I can say that. Or you wear pants that are so tight your waist kind of hangs over the sides. If you are not 12 years old, this is not a good look. What do they call that? Oh yea, muffin top.

Come on people you don't have to weigh 100 pounds to look good in your clothes. So stop dressing like you weigh 100 pounds. And ladies and gentlemen dress your age. You also know who you are. I mean come ladies, you can not wear a tube top when you are 60. Not unless you are Cher. And when you go to the beach, it doesn't matter if you are big or small, you cannot wear a bikini. Oh wait, unless you are Cher.

So the next time you go to buy clothes, take along friend. But be sure that they wear a different size than you, because you might like the outfit they try on. And it could be the only one on the rack. Of course I would just tell them how bad it looked on them and then tell the sales clerk to hold it for me. But you have to remember to not wear it when you go anywhere together. I really wouldn't do that to my friends. Would I?

Are We A Country of Lazy People?

Are we lazy? Ask yourselve that question the next time you want your kids to do something. Or maybe your spouse or someone who works for you.
I see it so much everyday day, that it drives me crazy. Now don't get me wrong, I like to sit in front of the tv and veg out on my days off to.
But I try to make an effort to do stuff if I have to.
What really drives me crazy is when I go to Wal-Mart, is all the empty buggies scattered all over the parking lot. And I don't mean in the place where they are suppose to go. What is with you people that you can't walk a few yards to put up a buggy. It's not like you have to walk a mile to do it.
And then if the wind is blowing, that buggy will roll into someones car. I don't know about you, but I do enough damage to my own car without any help from you lazy, inconsiderate people. It's bad enough that you don't pay attention when you get out and ding the car next to you with your door. You may not care if your car looks like it went through a hail storm, but I sure do.
I park way out in the parking lot away from everyone.
I was at Wal-Mart the other day and I parked way out in the parking lot just like I always do.
As I'm getting out a buggy rolls into my car. Luckily no dings. You better count yourself lucky that I didn't catch you not putting that buggy up. Of course I don't care for jail, so maybe lucky for me.
And why is it sometimes when you park way out in the parking lot, that someone with a piece of crap car parks next to you? What the 100 other spaces away from my car was not good enough. What, you think parking next to me is going to make your car look better. Sorry it doesn't work that way.
Hey I'm not downing you because of your crappy car. I use to drive a crappy car. I had a car that had rust spots larger than the good paint. And everytime that I closed the door or the trunk, a little piece of it fell off. The only good thing about that car was it was paid for.
So now I have a car that I pay an outrageous payment. So forgive me for being so particular about my car. All I'm saying is be a little considerate of other peoples car when you open your door and for goodness sake, put up that buggy. I've seen a few of you people, you need the exercise.

Sunny Florida

Well it's spring break time again. I guess when college kids get spring break, the first place they want to go is Florida.

When I was in school, that's where we wanted to go to. But I never realized how obnoxious we were until I lived here.

I know that you are here to have fun and relax from school. But come on you yahoo's, did you forget your manners and how to drive?

It's not that hard to acknowledge when someone has done something for you. You know the words. Like thank you and you are welcome. My 3 year old granddaughter even knows the words.

And where in the world did you get your drivers license? Did you forget how to read street signs? You've seen them before, speed limit, no passing, yield, slower moving traffic stay in slow lane. These are not hard to understand.

What about the 2 second rule. If you have a driver's license and don't know what that means. Then you need some tutoring.

We have enough traffic accidents, without someone not paying attention to where they are going. There is no reason to ride on someones bumper. About the time you look off the road at some teeny bikini or muscle man. You have rear ended the car in front of you.

And just because there is room between 2 cars, doesn't mean you shouldn't use your turn signal to let them know you are coming into their lane. Everyone is usually polite and will let you in.

But if you cut them off and you have an out of state tag. Look out. Because if you do this to someone who has worked all day and then had to sit in traffic for an hour for a trip that normally takes 15 minutes. Watch your back. You better hope that you don't go to a restaurant that they work at. I would go somewhere else.

And of course lets not forget traffic weavers. You know who you are. You just can't stand when you are in heavy traffic and stay in one lane. I can understand changing lanes, but not 6 times before you get a mile down the road. You are not going to get there any faster. And it's like putting a flashing light on your car for law enforcement. They consider it aggressive driving. And that is a no no.

But let's not forget my personal pet peeve. When you are on a 4 lane highway and see a sign saying lane closing ahead. Don't continue driving on the closed lane to get to the front. It's not like you aren't seeing a sign 2 miles back telling you of the closing. If everyone started merging over as soon as they first see the sign, traffic would move so much smoother.

But that would make to much sense. And we all know that you left common sense at home.

So you race to the front and traffic has to stop and let you merge into traffic. Or else let you run into a concrete barricade. Of course this causes a chain reaction of traffic having to slow down. Eventually 2 miles back traffic has come to a complete stop.

Personally I say let them sit there until traffic has cleared enough to merge without traffic slowing down and let them in. I guarantee they wouldn't pull that crap anymore.

And one more thing, if you are going to walk somewhere. Use the crosswalks. Don't step out in front of a car thinking they will see you or even stop. You might just get somebody who has sat in traffic for a while because of an accident caused by a tourist not looking where they are going.

So just remember courtesy and common sense still apply on vacations. It's okay to have fun, just think about how your fun affects people around you.

I sound like my third grade teacher. Maybe I was listening in class and not daydreaming.

We Love to eat in the south

We in the south love to eat. I didn't realize it until today just how much.

Today when my husband and myself went to dinner, we went to Golden Corral. You know the kind of place. The one that has a buffet with about 100 different kinds of food.

Ever since I started writing my blog, I started to pay attention to things around me. Just looking for ideas to write about. Well I found one today.

When we were seated, I started noticing the people around us. And the food on their plates.
Even though it's a buffet, that doesn't mean you are suppose to fill up your plate like it's your last meal. I mean, come people, how much food do you need on your first plate. You do know that they give you more plates.

But they pile their plates so high, that they hold their hands around the edge like it's going to fall off. And then most of the time, they don't even finish what they got on that massive plate of food. Didn't they get that lecture from their mothers when they were little to clean their plates. Something about starving children in other parts of the world.

And what is so sad, this is a true statement. I guess they were to busy filling up their plates to hear that story.

Now don't get me wrong, I like to eat as much as anybody. But when is it to much? If the price of gas keeps going up, food will not be so plentiful. So let's not eat it all at once. Wouldn't that be terrible if food had to be rationed. Sounds like stories of other countries that do that very thing.

Now I'm not trying to sound like gloom and doom. But we need to stop being so wasteful. Not only in food, but everything we do in our everyday lifes.

I sound like my mother. Wait, that's a good thing. Maybe if we listened to our mothers when we were younger, our lifes might not be so complicated. I sure wish my daughter would listen to me sometimes. I guess you have be old to learn that lesson. So if you still have your mother with you, listen to her a little more. She just might know what she is talking about. I know mine does.
At least I let her thinks she does. Just kidding Mom

My Blind Grandpa Driving the Car

Yes when my grandpa was alive, he still drove his car even though he technically was blind. Okay, maybe not completely blind, he saw shapes. He just didn't know what they were.

We lived way out in the country. And everybody drove on the small country roads, regardless of age or sight. Heck me and my brothers use to drive to the store and I was only 12 years old and I was the oldest.

But before we were big enough to touch the gas pedal and see over the steering wheel, we would ride with grandpa to the store. Now we didn't go everyday, just about once every couple of weeks.

If we were outside playing and seen him head to his car, we ask to go along. Both our parents worked and grandma was usually in the garden. Of course grandpa thought he was just as good a babysitter as anybody. At least we never got hurt when we were with him.

I think back with horror of how dangerous that would be in this day and time. I guess in grandpa eyes, he saw good enough to drive. We were young and didn't care. All we thought about was going to the store and getting a RC cola and a moonpie. I myself liked getting a coke and pouring in it a pack of peanuts. Try it sometime, you might like it.

Now grandpa usually made it out of the driveway on to the road most of the time. Sometimes he turned to soon and drove in the small ditch on each side to the driveway. When he got out onto the road, he would run his car off the road. And then he would turn his steering wheel to the left until he felt his right front tire hit on the side of the pavement.

This was how he knew he was on his side of the road. Thank God everybody knew his car, when they seen him coming. They just pulled over and stopped until he passed.

Next to the store was a small church, and they used the same parking lot. As I said before, he could see shape but couldn't tell what they were. He would count the large shapes on the right side of the road. And he knew how many buildings there were on the way to the store. When he counted to the building he knew was the church, he would turn in the parking lot of the church.

Everybody knew he did this and he knew when anybody might be there for church. So nobody ever parked their cars there in case he came to the store that day. He would always park his car so that all he had to do was keep turning his steering wheel to the left to get back on to the road.

When he drove back home, he did the same thing going back counting buildings. And of course he didn't always make the turn back into the driveway. So he would either turn to soon and drive through the small ditch, or not to soon enough and take out the mailbox. He ran it over so many times, that daddy just propped it back up.

Of course grandpa drove so slow, when he occasionally missed a turn. It didn't really damage anything except the mailbox. And the kids in the country like to put firecrackers in the mailboxes, so he couldn't hurt it any worst than they did. We probably could have ran to the store faster than he drove it. We didn't care, we just wanted to go to the store.

Eventually he had to stop driving after he kind of parked a little to close to the house. He didn't actually hit the house, he just kind of let the car roll into it. But by this time we could drive ourselves. Back then if a kid could press the gas and see over the steering wheel, then they could drive.

Grandpa has been gone for many years now, but I will never forget the trips to the store. We never knew what would happen. Anytime I see a mailbox with a few dents in it, I think of my grandpa.

What are we going to do today?

Have you ever woken up on your day off and wonder, what am I going to do today?

I couldn't even begin to remember what that feels like. There is always something that needs to be done on days off. Like the ever growing pile of laundry, the grocery list that just keeps getting longer on the refrigerator door.

Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was which tennis shoes to wear that day. Or which one of your friends house to meet at.

Don't you remember the sound of the bell ringing at the end of the last day of school. You couldn't wait to get home and get out of your school clothes. And what about when you hated to get up early to catch the bus. But when you was off for the summer, you woke up early just to play.

In my day we didn't have nintendo or wii. We made our own fun. I remember when I was growing up in central Florida before my parents moved us to north Alabama. We did all kinds of things that had nothing to do with electronic games.

My parents took me and my two brothers camping on Crystal River and took us to the beach at Sarasota and Daytona Beach. We always seem to be going somewhere on the weekends.

I remember my dad trying to teach me and my brothers how to eat raw oysters. My brothers David and Wayne loved them. I just couldn't make myself eat them. My dad would put them on a cracker and put hot sauce on it for me. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn't eat them.

My favorite thing was putting out traps to catch crabs. Now that was my favorite seafood to eat. Still is. One time my mom was boiling us some crabs that we had caught, but she put to much crab boil in the pot. The crab were so spicy that you couldn't even lick your fingers without feeling like your lips would burn off.

I'll never forget the time mom was picking up a crab, I don't know how she done it. But that crab latched onto her thumb. The only way to get that crab to release it's pincher, was to pry it off with a pair of pliers.

Then we moved to north Alabama and spent our summers camping out on Smith Lake. We never ran out of things to do. And the best thing was it didn't cost a week's pay to do it.

I miss those days of spending time with my family. It seems there is never enough hours in the day. Hope we all learn to slow down and smell the roses, before it's to late.

Weather of the Day

We have a saying in Florida, if you don't like the weather wait 15 minutes and it will change.
I never know what to wear to work. I put on 4 layers of shirts and long johns, aka insulated underwear. But by the time lunch time comes around, you start peeling off clothes.

Or the morning starts off raining and cloudy and by the afternoon is beautiful and sunny. But I wouldn't change the weather for nothing. At least it keeps it interesting.

I really love the summer time. Going to the beach, parasailing, riding waverunners and fishing. The best thing about working on the gulf coast, is in the summer there is always something to do.

Of course along with it comes the horrific traffic from the tourists. I know I would be a gazillionaire if I got a nickel from every tourist that ask directions to somewhere.

The one thing I don't love about Florida weather is the humidity. Women everywhere will tell you what humidity will do to your hair. You have beautiful hair until you walk out the front door. All of sudden you look like you stuck your finger in a light socket.

Everyone seems to think that they should try to get their suntan on the first day. Of course anyone who has ever been to Florida in the summer, knows that's a major mistake. You always know a tourist when you see one. They have the look of a lobster off a grill that they forgot to turn over. And then they are miserable for the rest of their vacation.



Of course we have weather that I could definitely live without. Hurricanes and tornados. At least with hurricanes you have advanced warning. Not so much with tornados. Neither is a good thing. But I guess that is a small price to pay to live at the beach.

Valentines Day (bah humbug) Oops Wrong Holiday

What is it with Valentines Day anyway? What is it about this holiday that make people spend almost as much money as they do on Christmas.

Yea, I know. This is when you are suppose to show the one you love how much they mean to you. But isn't that something you should do everyday? Think about it for a second. You pay an ungodly price for flowers, if you are lucky might last a week. You buy jewelry, hopefully not bought from a discount store. And if you did, after about a week of wear. Turns your loved ones skin green. Or if bought from a jewelry store, after a while put in a jewelry box with last years Valentine gift. And don't even get me started on the candy. Oh yea, we women love the chocolates. Of course we eat the whole box saying, I'll get back on my diet tomorrow. There are some of us, still waiting for that tomorrow.

Of course I'm almost forgetting the best gift of all. The bottle of perfume. There are two kinds of perfume. First there is the kind sold by the ounce and then there is the bargain perfume. You know the kind that your husband buys for you down at the flea market from some guy named Earl who is selling tools and real french perfume on the same table. You try to wear it because he bought for you but everytime you put it on, it burns a little and smell like kerosene. So you tell him that the kids broke the bottle playing in the bathroom and hope he never buys you kerosene scented perfume ever again.

But as I said, shouldn't you show them everyday. I not talking about spending money. Most of the things you could do are free and unscented. Just a little thought and time to do it.

You could tell your wife you will take the kids to school. But then later that night when your wife asks you if the kids had homework. You look at her with a blank look. She suddenly realize with horror that you didn't pick them up from school. Of course your response would be, I said I would take them to school. I didn't say anything about picking them up.

Maybe do something for her that doesn't involve your being responsible for someone smaller and younger than you. Aka the kids. Maybe clean up the kitchen and load the dishwasher for her after dinner. But make sure that if you run out of dishwashing detergent, that you don't go into the laundry room and get the clothes detergent. For some reason beyond me, clothes detergent and dishwashers don't work well together. I myself don't know why not. Washing detergent should be for what ever is dirty. Whether it be clothes, dishes, the dog. Dirty is dirty.

Or better yet, maybe bring home dinner. Tell her you are going to get some chicken. Of course don't come home 4 hours late with beer on your breath and a Hooter's bag of cold chicken wings. She might not buy your story that you had to wait a really long time for your order.

I myself have been married for 29 years this past January. I got my Valentines day gift early. My husband washed and waxed my car. That may not sound like much. But when you live in the south and have to drive on clay roads occasionally, it's like getting a diamond ring. Or at least to me. That car wash was worth more to me than any flowers, jewelry, or candy. Ok, maybe not the chocolate. But you know what I mean.

Everyday when I wake up and before I go to bed, I always tell my husband I love him. And I never hang up the phone without saying, I love you. If I never got to be with my husband and family ever again. I know in my heart that they know I loved them.

So you don't have to spend money to show how much you care. Of course I'm just speaking about me. But Honey if you want to get me that diamond ring, I promise I will take it.

Rubberneckin'

What is it with people rubberneckin' at an accident that they see? Sorry, I forget sometimes not everyone even knows what that means. Definitely not the Elvis song. But you know the remix to that song is really cool to listen to in your car when you are sitting in traffic.

Oh yea, back to people rubberneckin'. Southern definition of this word is some idiot passing by a car accident, breaking his or her neck to see what happened. And when they rubberneck, they create a change reaction of slowing traffic down to a complete stop 5 miles from the accident.

What exactly is it that they expect to see? A head with no body, maybe an arm or leg. I don't know about you, but I absolutely refuse to look. Just in case there is a head with no body or any other limbs that I don't care to see.

I don't want to have a dream that I'm waking up like that guy in the movie Godfather. But instead of a horse head, it's the head from some accident I rubbernecked at.

Of course, one day I didn't have alot of choice in the matter. It's kind of hard not to look, when you are meeting another car. And they just decide to drive off the road. The only problem with that, was the side of the road dropped off about 10 feet down. So when the car left the road, it got airborne. Never have seen a car fly before. Definitely a first.

And being that I am a true southern woman, I stopped to make sure the driver was okay. Of course the guy driving was not hurt. Just a little upset about that his car's landing gears didn't hold up to well. You know, his tires. I ask him why he picked that day to practice for his pilots license. He said he had dropped his cigarette in the seat. I don't know about you, but if that had of been me. I think I would have rather had a small hole in my car seat, instead of having to buy 4 new tires for the car. I sure hope that my husband makes that choice if he ever has to.

My Southern World

Hello , Welcome to my southern world. As my title states, I am a southern and also a woman.

I started this blog to talk about things that happen in my day to day life as a person living in the deep south. Also about stories from my growing up in the south.

This is my very first blog, ever. And I don't have a clue of what I'm doing. Or even if anything that I might have to talk about is worth people wanting to read. Any comments or help from everyone, will be welcomed. As we say in the south, I have always depended on the kindness of others. Or did I hear that in some movie. Yea, I know I did. But it sounds like something we would say in the south, right?

Sometimes when I watch the news of what is happening in other parts of the world, I feel like I'm living on another planet. I have traveled to other parts of the United States and Canada.

And as soon as I open my mouth to speak, my accent immediately gives me away. The first thing someone usually says to me, are you from the south?

I'm always being told that I have the cutest accent. I'm sure I lose a few IQ points as soon as someone hears me talk. Of course sometimes it really works to my advantage. You know, when you're trying to get out of a speeding ticket. That's when the use of darling or sweetheart really comes in handy.

Of course I'm sure there are some women somewhere who cringe when they hear me say that.
But I'm sure I wouldn't be the first person to use their personality to get out of a ticket. It has worked for me so far.

My day to day life involves working for the government. Of course my job doesn't involve working in an office. I get to ride around in a work truck. I see all kinds of wildlife. Deer, turkeys, bears, and every other kind of wildlife we have in the south. That includes snakes, Big and small.

Of course I work with mostly men. There is only one other female besides myself who works out in the field. These guys are a true picture of a southern male. Bunch of great guys, but without a doubt southern rednecks. You know the type, loves to hunt, curses every other word, drives a pickup with a gun rack.

I was involved one day in an accident going to one of my facilities that I was responsible for. I have just turned onto the road leading to the building, when a deer came running out of the woods and hit my truck. Of course the first question asked was not was I ok, but did it kill the deer? Boy, I knew right then what was important to a southern man.